Reporter Jim Lynch: "Apple's iOS 7 is an estrogen-addled mess, designed for 13 year old girls."

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“My eyes!!! It felt like someone had dragged a cheese grater across my eyeballs when I saw the iOS 7 home screen, with its horrendous icons that looked like they were designed by a committee from the National Association of Gals (NAG) or…gasp!…Lisa Frank! Yes, iOS 7 comes perilously close to looking like Lisa Frank’s ‘Stuff Girls Love’ site,” Jim Lynch blogs. “The minute that you enter the iOS 7 home screen, you realize that it has been designed for a gaggle of giggling 13 year old girls. Most of the icons are a mishmash of pastels that exude emotionally incoherent inconsistency.”

“The color scheme is almost unbearable if you’re a man that appreciates the stronger, richer and more detailed icons in iOS 6. The first time you see the iOS 7 icons, it feels like somebody kicked you in the balls with no warning and for absolutely no reason,” Lynch writes. “There’s a real gender issue with the iOS 7 icon color scheme. The iOS 7 beta icons practically ooze estrogen! The manly, solid colors and design found in iOS 6 have been chopped off as viciously as Lord Varus’ balls and cock in Game of Thrones. In short, iOS 7 is a clam-o-rama of soft pastels that overwhelm male eyeballs, while bathing men in a sea of soft, limp nothingness.”

Lynch writes, “The Game Center icon is…bubbles. Ugly, girlish pastels-from-hell-bubbles. Yuck! First of all, what do bubbles have to do with gaming? Nothing, absolutely nothing. Second, gaming is known as one of the few communities that is still mostly masculine in its perspective and sensibilities. So what was Apple thinking by slicing off Game Center’s balls like this? It seems pretty clear that Johnny Ives and his designers have ZERO knowledge about the sensibilities of gamers. I suspect that none of them is a gamer, and probably could care less about inflicting this dick-less version of Game Center on male iOS gamers.”

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Dan Uff

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